Trying to deal: Learning

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Learning

My primary dr doesnt know anything about what i am going through. He says,"it's out of his pay grade". I have trusted him since I started going to him, I do not know if I can trust the NS or the NL at the Iowa Spine and Brain. I am still waiting on the Mayo to contact me...hopefully that is soon. Trust is a hard thing to gain with me...Really wish my Primary knew about DDD and Chiari. I feel he saved me last summer with the cancer. He was the only one who ever mentioned it and wanted a biopsy...Why can't he know about everything!!!

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Invisible yet again

The first thing that comes to my mind is "But you don't look sick!?" Yeah, we get that alot. Chiari Malformation is considered an invisible illness because you don't usually see the symptoms on the outside.
Of course I look normal.
You can't see the pressure in my head.
You can't see that it feels like my head could explode at any minute.
You can't see that my hands and feet are numb and tingling.
I may stumble or walk into something, but I just look clumsy to you...You don't see my balance and depth perception problems.
You don't hear the ringing in my ears.
You hear my speech slurr or I trip over my words. You laugh, I laugh. But do you know why it happens? Does that come to mind when you hear it?
You don't see me almost black out from getting dizzy and lightheaded if I drive too fast over a hill.
(I know why I can't ride rollercoasters.)
I could continue to go on and on with the list.

Trying to deal

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Learning

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My chiari

Knock it out

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