Vets

So many of us are ignored. Alot of us have injuries and diseases that are ignored, that people do not want to recognize. PTSD, DDD, chiari, syringomyelia....unless we have a limb missing, people see a bullet hole everyone says we are fine. Well we aren't.

We used to run, lift heavy machinery, parts etc, now we can barely walk without pain, can  barely move. Shit we're lucky to even to be able to leave the damn house!!!! Do people understand? Hell no. There are time's when I get this smell in my nose that I have not smelled in years, JP5, it refuses to leave, and no matter what I do it refuses to leave me. I have nightmares of body parts and bird parts with burnt skin and uniform burnt onto it, I wake up in cold sweats. The medical crap thats going on is only making it worse. I get told I'm weak, that Veterans do not need to have the VA, we do not deserve compensation. I want to yell so often for people to live one day in what we do in a year but it seems i coward down.

Even other Vets because i never stepped foot on the ground during combat operations ignore me because I am navy. I have ptsd from 2 different reasons and one of them are totally ignored by almost every vet out there because "it is what I asked for in the military, in the "man's club" ". You know what I want to tell them almost every day they start in, screw you. You try, just try to be forced by someone you depend on with your life, your supposed shipmate that you can depend on....

I am so tired of feeling like this, worthless, invisible and weak. I want my old life back. I want to be back on the ocean, working on my birds, living life doing what I love. Can doctors make my body be able to do that again? I have salt water in my veins and here I am stuck in Iowa!!!! This is not fair!!!!