What is Love?

My best friend for 4+ years now has always been there, and I've always been there for him. I fell in love with him 2+ years ago but I would not say anything because he was married, I am not a homewrecker or a mistress.....I do not play that crap. When I found out that he was filing for papers I sent him a video and he did not understand at first. It was a Sugarland song that I love alot and holds alot of meaning for me. Afew days later it must have hit and he came back to me and told me he had feelings for me for a long time to but was afraid of saying anything. We got more and more involved, we never held anything back from each other but then out of no where he proposed. At first I was totally lost and confused. TBH I hadn't been that happy in years and years. I truly fell in love with my best friend and I had always thought that was never possible. My dad always said I'd never amount to anything and only end up with a loser like my first husband who was abusive as shit. Only down fall is we both have PTSD and we trigger each other....I made mistake alittle over a month  ago saying something, breaking his trust, this last weekend he broke everything off, breaking my heart. I wish I could  talk to him, hold him. I dont feel good at all and I know that does not help my feelings right now. He said give him time to get his head on straight, he's just in a bad place...but he continuously blames me for things when he said he needed the break....if you need a break how can other person who is being there and supporting be pushing away? I still love him with all of my heart and soul....I wish he understood that :(

I would do almost anything for him. I want to curse out his ex's so damn bad...even beat the crap out of them. NOONE deserves what happened to him. You do not take a child away from the most loving man ever. Their now having to fight to get their relationship back to what it should have been from jump and he now has the most beautiful grandson. I want to help him so much but it's a brick wall. How can I tell him what he means to me. How can I tell him I will never hurt him like his ex's have.