Hardest time ever right now

I've been quiet on here for a long time. Been trying to deal with my PTSD, MST, relationship issues, family, and my medical stuff.....My relationship is shot, my family is shot, I'm alone except for my daughter, get told i have no reason why my PTSD is flaring, fighting dr's with everything I have but get told I'm not doing enough, since last night I've been doing prep for todays colonoscopy to see if i have cancer. My symptoms from the syringo are getting really bad I tried my damnest to get into the NS soon but I had to keep apt with the PA that talks down at me literally (last apt i left office in tears) in April and have apt with NS on May 8th....I really need to start working on blog more....